Always Known What I Wanted To Be
by Mickey Sixx
Summary: Grace Williams has always wanted to be a cop - Character Study, Slash Steve/Danny, mild language. Previously titled "When I Grow Up"


AN: My first Hawaii Five-0 fic - apparently the muse likes this show :headdesk: Quick warning: I'm not Hawaiian, nor have I ever been to Hawaii, so I apologise in advance if anything in this is wrong. Apart from that, enjoy!

* * *

**Always Known What I Wanted To Be  
**

Mickey Sixx

* * *

Grace Williams has always wanted to be a cop. When she's eight her class has careers day and their teacher asks them what they want to be when they grow up. Grace listens as, one by one, her friends tell Mrs Roberts that they want to be Surfers, Doctors, and Astronauts. When it's Grace's turn, she calmly states she wants to be a cop like her daddy and catch bad guys and put them in jail.

Two months later, Mrs Roberts repeats her words to her father at the annual PTA meeting and Grace knows by the strange sound of his laugh that he doesn't like the idea as much as she does. He tells her on the way home that being a cop is dangerous and that Danno doesn't want her to get hurt and why doesn't she want to be a Dolphin Trainer instead like Dolphin Trainer Annie because training Dolphins, well, that's just as cool as being a cop, right?

Grace might have only been eight years old, but she knows her Danno. She knows that he's scared even though he doesn't say it. So she nods solemnly and agrees that being a dolphin trainer would be also be cool. His eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles at her and even though she's eight, she knows what relief looks like.

But she never gives up on her dream. She just doesn't mention it again in front of her father.

* * *

Her daddy and Steve start dating when she's ten, although she knows it started way before that. She had spent enough weekends with her dad and his partner to know that the way they looked at each other was the same way that her mom and Step-Stan looked at each other and Steve made her daddy happy so who was she to complain?

She tells Steve about her ambition when she nears her eleventh birthday. She's grateful that Steve listens attentively and doesn't interrupt her speech on why she wants to be a cop and that nothing would ever get her to change her mind so it was pointless to even try. She's made this speech a few times before, but her audience isn't Steve and it's only ever been in her head.

When she finishes, he stays silent, looking as though he's weighing her words (or maybe, she thinks years later, his own) before he finally answers her.

"Those are some really good reasons to be a cop, Gracie. I think your dad will be proud of how hard you've thought about it."

Grace makes a face, "But he won't like it."

Steve grins at her and ruffles her hair gently, "He loves you, he doesn't want to see you get hurt."

"But he gets hurt all the time!" Grace pouts and crosses her arms in the way that makes Steve laugh. But even though he smiles at her she sees the flash of something dark in his eyes at her statement, something she's still too young to understand.

"Not all the time-"

"What have I told you about lying to my daughter?" They both look up, watch their topic of conversation move into the room with a wary eye moving between them. Grace grins at him innocently and looks back at Steve, knows that the look he's giving her means that the conversation will stay between them. For now. "Seriously, since I met you-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Steve says, giving her shoulder a light squeeze as he gets up from the couch and moves to meet his partner half way. She giggles when Danny has to tip his head back to keep his eyes on Steve, "Like I haven't heard this argument a million times before."

"Hey, just because you-"

But the rant he's building up to is cut short by Steve's mouth, and Grace decides it's time to leave them to it and go do her homework. She has to get good grades if she wanted to be a cop.

* * *

The first, and only, time she sees the Principal's office is when she's fourteen. Mr Kekoa tells her that the kind of behaviour she had exhibited today is not tolerated in his school, and that he is disappointed in her. Grace doesn't like the way his words make her feel, but that's nothing compared to the look that Danny gives her as she passes him to sit outside in the hallway while he goes inside to talk to the Principal. Shame claws at her throat and she lowers her eyes, cheeks burning with embarrassment as the door closes behind him.

They don't speak when he leaves the room, or even when they get into the car. Grace isn't used to silence where her father is concerned, and so they get half way home before she attempts to break it.

"Danno-"

"Uh uh, no, don't even think for one moment that you're going to get out of this, young lady!" Danny says tightly, and something in Grace's chest loosens as he starts to build himself up to full rant mode. Grace never likes to see him angry with her, but she would take his anger over his silence any day. "Do you know how _worried_ I was when I got that call today? Huh? _Do you_? They told me there had been an incident and that somehow you were involved, and do you know the first thing I thought? I thought you were the one who'd been hurt. But then, _then_ they tell me that _you_ were the one putting the hurt on this other girl, I mean... _what?_ Tell me, Grace Williams, just tell me what the _hell_ you were _thinking_?"

Grace swallows against the use of her full name and watches the palm trees slide by the window, but it's not really the palm trees she's seeing. Instead she was seeing the shock Malea Aukai's green eyes as Grace executed a perfect Aikido Nikyo and dropped her to the floor of the hallway. She's feeling the self control she had tasted as she held her to the ground and the power in the knowledge that her circle of sadists had all stepped back from her in fear.

She had barely a second to register her name ringing through the hallway in alarm before her eyes fixed on one of her teachers rushing towards them, and the shock of that caused her hands to release Malea's twisted arm a few seconds before she was dragged off to see the Principal.

"I was standing up for myself," she says eventually, her voice quiet but firm.

Danno looks back and forth between her and the road, "You were- you were _standing up for yourself?_ What? Why would you need to-?"

"Because she was making my life hell, ok?" Grace hates it when she loses her cool because her mother gives her this look that tells her exactly _where_ she's got that trait from. She runs her fingers through her hair (yet another trait he's bestowed on her) and continues, "Malea and her groupies have had it in for me for a while now. She hates me because I'm _haole_."

"Wait, she called you that?" When Grace nods his jaw tightened, "She's been bullying you, and you didn't think to tell a teacher about it?"

She laughs, but there's no humor in it, "Yeah, Dad, because that would _totally_ stop them from calling me names and tripping me in the hallways. You know, I'm sure they'd all just be shaking in their mules at the very thought."

"Hey, don't you sass me-"

"-I'm not sassing you, I'm telling you how stupid your idea was-"

"-you're crossing a line, Grace, you're damn near crossing that line-"

"-have any idea how _good_ it felt to put her down?" Grace's words shut him up and she dimly registers his sudden silence but doesn't look at him. Instead she stares at her bare knees, peeking out of her grey school skirt, "For months she's been telling me that I'm not fit to be on this island, that I don't _belong_ here, that it's weird and wrong that my dad has a boyfriend. And I let her do it because I didn't know how to fight back. I _let_ her push me around and hurt me and call me names." Grace swallows because her mouth is dry and she expects Danny to interrupt, but he doesn't. She's not finished. "I wanted to show her that I belong here, that _we_ belong here, and that she can't push me around anymore."

The silence stretches but it's not tense and angry like before. Her fingers pick at a stray thread in her skirt as she waits.

"Three things," Danny says after a while and Grace notices that he's using his 'let's deal with this situation calmly and rationally' voice instead of 'I'm going to shout at you because you're insane and/or in trouble' voice. Which is the one he usually reserves for Steve. He holds up one finger, "One: you _ever_ do something like that again? You'll be grounded. For life. No TV, no laptop, no phone. And I'll tell your mom what you did and then she can shout at you too, and I know you know how she gets about these things."

Grace nods quickly, watches as another finger uncurls to join the first, "Two: I'm going to kick Steve's ass when he get's home for teaching you his ninja SEAL skills."

"But Danno-"

"Ah ah ah! No interrupting!" He turns into the street where Steve's house is - their house now - and slows the car as they near the gate. "That is not something a girl of your age needs to learn. Piano, baseball, violin; sure. That's acceptable. How to kill a guy with your bare hands? Not so much." He pauses for a second, "What I wanna know is why the hell he taught you that in the first place, huh?"

"Because I asked him to," Grace answers, and she knows immediately it was the wrong thing to say because of the way Danny's face contorts into interesting expressions.

"You _what?_" Grace grabs the strap of her bag and pops the door open to leave the car, heaving an irritated sigh as she steps into the humidity of the afternoon. Danny follows her lead, "Hey! Hey, don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you."

She continues up to the front door as if she hasn't heard him, but waits for him to catch up. She tells herself that it's because between the two of them, he is the only one with keys. When it's clear that he wont open the door until he has an answer, she sighs again and lifts her eyes to the sky, "I asked him to teach me some self-defence, ok? I want to know how to protect myself."

"Against _school bullies?_"

"No, against criminals!"

Danny blinks at her once, twice, three times, before enlightenment hits him. "No. No, no, no, we are _not_ having this conversation-"

"Good, because there's nothing you can say that's going to make me change my mind," Grace says as she hoists her backpack higher onto her shoulder, "Can you please open the door before you start chewing me out? I don't think the neighbours would appreciate hearing you ranting at me."

She watches that 'sarcastically amused' expression move over his face as he fishes his keys out from his pants pocket, shakes his head as he moves to open the door, "You. You're lucky your mom's out of town this week_._"

* * *

When Steve drops in a couple of hours later, the first thing out of Danny's mouth is "Sometimes, McGarrett, I swear to _god_, I think you want to _kill me_!" And when Steve gives him that 'Danno-go-crazy' look, it's "Don't give me that face, moron, you are in _serious_ trouble."

Grace waits it out in the living room, eyes rolling because even though they move into another room, she can still hear every single word of their argument like they are standing right next to her.

* * *

It's hours later, when the fight has fizzled out and both hot heads have calmed down, that Steve finds her sitting in the sand out back. He lowers himself down next to her and watches the ocean.

"Danno's pretty mad at you, huh."

"Yeah," he says, "But I've seen him worse." When Grace doesn't answer he sighs, "He's just mad because he loves you, Gracie, and he-"

"-doesn't want to see me get hurt," she finishes, "Yeah. I know. But he can't keep me safe forever."

"You think a minuscule fact like that is going to stop him?"

She smiles then because it's the truth and looks up into Steve's eyes, warm and calm like the ocean that's lapping at the shore. "I'm sorry," she says, and is granted with an open smile from him that tells her it's ok before he speaks the words.

"Don't sweat it, keiki, I'll handle Danno." He bumps her shoulder and her smile widens as she bumps him back, letting her head rest against his solid arm as they watch the ocean together.

* * *

She asks him later what the third thing was and Danny cocks his head to regard her, his eyes soft and fond when he finally says, "Three: I'm proud of you."

Grace ignores the lone tear that slips down her cheek when he enfolds her into his arms and holds her like he never wants to let go.

* * *

When she sees her mother murdered at seventeen, it makes her more determined than ever. She looks at the people surrounding the grave; friends and relatives and people she's never seen before, all paying their respects. Her father and Steve stand on either side of her, Kono and Chin behind. Protecting her, but whether it's conscious or unconscious she doesn't know. Doesn't really care. She needs their strength today more than ever.

After the ceremony, Stan moves forward to embrace her. He murmurs apologies into her hair and leaves before she can formulate a reply. He's already packed, ready to leave Hawaii on the first flight out, and she watches as he ignores everyone around him and heads to the blacked-out car waiting for him. She would be lying if she said it didn't hurt, but she also understood why. He couldn't stay here when everything reminded him of her mother, herself included.

"Can't leave fast enough," Danny comments from her left and Grace reaches out to him because she can hear the tight tension in his voice, the sadness that belies the words. She sees Steve reach behind her and curve a hand over his shoulder, moving closer to her in the process.

They gracefully accept every-one's apologies and condolences, listen patiently to their kind and sorrowful words, and they are back in the car before Grace realises that she needs to _do_ something. Her fingers itch to release the safety belt so she can escape the thickness of grief and anger that is settling over her like a blanket, and she knows she's already made up her mind.

"I want to help catch him," she says, her voice small yet determined. Her eyes watch the scenery move past the darkened windows, "I want to help you catch the son of a bitch that did this to her."

"Not now, Gracie-"

"Yes now!" The anger catches up to her and she turns it full force on her father, who looks wrecked and older than she ever remembers him being, but even that wont stop her speaking her mind. "I saw him, dad. I watched him slice her up like she was nothing but a piece of meat." She sees Danny's pained flinch but she can't back down. Not now. "I want in."

Danny growls, his anger and pain matching hers, "There is no way - _no way_ I am letting you in on this investigation, _especially_ not after what happened to Rachel. You're not even a trained cop!"

"I don't care!"

"_Well I care_!" He yells back, voice breaking on the last word and causing Steve to slide an arm around his shoulder and brace him slightly. His lips press together, thin and bloodless, and his jaw tightens as he fights to compose himself in front of his team, "I care, Grace. You are my daughter. You are not getting involved in this. I will _not_ lose you too."

Grace doesn't think she's ever seen him this angry, this desperate before. It hurts her heart to see it, even more than it's hurt already, and a part of her wonders why she's pushing this when she should just leave it alone.

And that little voice inside her head answers '_Well, you __**are**__ your father's daughter_.'

* * *

It gives her a certain sense of satisfaction when she gets to kick the shit out of the murdering bastard. She's been taking lessons from Steve and Kono since she was fifteen and knows exactly where to hit to cause maximum pain. She's banged up and breathless from the chase and the subsequent take down, but it's lost in the buzz of adrenaline and rage, in the waves of agony roiling through her body.

She knows the exact moment that Danny and Steve come up behind her, and some part of her is grateful that they let her have this, even if it's just for a moment, because all the anger and pain and fear that's been eating her up inside for the past few days needs an outlet.

And what better outlet than the man who caused it all.

She's dimly aware she's screaming at him when strong hands circle her upper arms and drag her back into a solid chest. Grace struggles valiantly, half mad from pent-up energy and grief, and doesn't stop until Steve's gruff voice murmurs, "It's ok, Gracie; you got him. You got him." She feels the world fall down around her then and the fight drains out of her as her tears run hot rivers down her cheeks. Steve's hold on her shifts, gentles, pulls her into his own body and shields her as she cries and cries and cries.

She's in a daze when father kisses her forehead and holds her to him, muttering low into the top of her head, "You did good, Monkey. You did real good."

* * *

Grace is twenty-three when she graduates from the academy. The small silver disc of the St Micheal Steve gave to her his cool against the hollow of her throat, the weight of the gun her father gifted her with comfortable in the holster at her hip. She stands up on the stage, right hand raised, ready to recite the constitution, and catches the eyes of the two men who inspired her to push for what she wanted.

Grace Williams has always wanted to be a cop. Tonight she finally gets her wish.


End file.
